My Fairytopia Land

Not too bad

2012-01-13T02:49:00.002-05:00

I have spent very little time in my room and after the first few days, it's not so hard anymore. I enjoy being downstairs. I find that my family spends more time downstairs too, especially my husband. I don't have to ask him, he just brings his stuff down and we sit together. Noone has asked me yet why I have been spending so much time out of my bed, but I definitely think they notice. My youngest will call up to her sister to come down too so we all can watch something or play a game. I am loving this. I can slowly feel some of my depression melting away.

Another positive, is the pain is gone for now. I have been feeling like my self or almost a week now. Minimal to no nausea, I'm eating more. I know in a month the cycle will start all over again, I'm just hoping for less pain this time.

Blessings

2012-01-05T22:32:00.003-05:00

After the tremendous pain on Monday, that continued through the night, Tuesday was a new day. By lunch the pain was almost all gone. I was able to spend time with my family and have dinner together. After dinner there was some feelings of pressure but nothing like the weekend. Since then, the pain has been gone. I've spent little time in my bed. We've played games together, watched tv together and just spent time being together as a family. I am so glad that I made this simple resolution.

The pain

2012-01-02T23:24:00.002-05:00

I've managed 2 days out of my bed. What a great way to start the new year!! Except the pain has been the worse it's been in over a year when all this started. I finally broke down in my husbands lap this morning and cryed. Despite all the pain I have daily, I rarely cry about, because crying nots going to help. Until that moment, I don't think he realized just how much pain I've been in. I am a whiner by nature, but when something is truly bad, I tend to not say anything. He knows I've been having pain just not to this extent. I managed to still have a good day!

Really, I've had a good weekend. I got 12 loads of laundry washed, folded and all put away. The Christmas decorations are all down (hopefully my husband will put them away tomorrow ), and I worked on our bills. After dinner I had time to knit while I watched the kids dance on the kinect games and then the 4 of us played a family game. So despite all the pain I've had today, I feel very blessed! I think staying out of bed, maybe won't be so hard after all.

NY2012

2012-01-01T12:39:00.007-05:00

Wow, it'a been a long time since i have written any thing. There has been lots of changes. Some for the better, some for the worse. My children are growing up. That's a good change! My oldest will be getting her drivers license in a month. Feeling kinda scared about that, but also very proud. My husband has a new job, and although he makes significantly less money, he is very happy!! I have a new job with Hospice that I love, but I also make less money. We are managing. I'm hoping to get our finances in better order this year. Not an easy task, this last year has taken a toll on them.

The biggest problem I am facing this year, is my depression. Despite everyone, including myself, being happier this year, I just can't seem to shake this funk that follows me. I've made a resolution this year, that appears simple on the outside, but is incredibly ard for me. I will try to not spend my free time in bed. I enjoy reading, knitting or just playing on my iPad. I can and should be doing those things other places then in my bed. I need to spend more quality time with my family. I want to spend more time with my family. The thing holding me bak, is how lousy I feel most days. There is something going on, I've been to the doctors . No real answers. All I know is that I have pain and discomfort daily. Frequently I am nauseous. I rarely have an appetite.I have been loosing weight. But there are a few reasons for that. I no longer eat catered meals everyday for lunch with my new job. In fact, I hardly have time for lunch. But as the years gone on, I am rarely hungry. If I do eat, lunch is usually my big meal, that I can eat and still feel ok. If I eat late I feel sick. I guess part of my depression is that I'm scared. Scared it could be something very serious.

So to start of the New Year, I'm going to start by staying active and positive. I'll continue to peruse my medical issues, but not from bed anymore! Hopefully my family will like having me around more!!

Stress

2010-05-07T20:52:00.002-04:00

It's been a while since I last posted. I have not been working out, but I have tried to change my diet. Much more drastically this time. I make lunch each day to take to work out of fat free products. I buy fresh fruit and yogurts to take with me. Yet I still have not lost a pound. It is rather discouraging, but I will try to stick to it, because I do realize that it is healthier in the long run.

Besides dieting, I have had a lot on my mind lately. I feel like I am surrounded by death, at work and at home. I have been working with oncology patients for 14 years now, so I am used to that aspect of my life. But personally there has been a lot of death around me. A new co-worker's husband committed suicide recently and that same weekend a friend that I used to work with, her husband and her ran their first half marathon and literally after crossing the finish line, he collapsed and died of a heart attack. I am heart broken for them. But my boss who has had breast cancer, has lost her battle and died last weekend. She was the best person to ever work for. She was kind, caring, compassionate, but most of all, fair. Her memorial service will be this week.

I also feel like my relationship with my husband is dying. Things have always been up and down with him, but they seem to be getting worse. Or aren't they? Am I just looking for problems? I don't know. I love him, but not his behaviors. A lot of our arguments can become very heated. I loose my temper easily too I know, but I never try to hurt him. I may throw things and slam things, but never to physically hurt anyone. His temper is worse. He throws things and breaks things but never really hurt me, despite wanting too, I'm sure. But all that changed the other night over a small argument. I throw a water bottle on the floor and walked away. He in turn throw a container at me, which wasn't big, but I was walking away. So I couldn't defend my self and deflect it. It hit me in my back and really hurt me. I have not spoken to my husband since that night. Not a word. He did apologize a few minutes later when he calmed down, and also sent me a text the next day apologizing and stating he understood if I couldn't ever forgive him and that he would give me time/space. I didn't respond back. I can't bring my self to forgive him. I truly believe he is sorry, but I can't trust him. The part that hurts the most is that he tried to hurt me when my back was turned. When I had no defense's. What gets me is that we have had way bigger arguments then this, really. How do I know whether I should forgive him or if I should just move on? I won't allow some one to physically hurt me, ever. But his behavior is unacceptable and how can I know if it will happen again, will it be worse, what if it is a real argument?

Is it possible to take a vacation from your life?

Every Day

2010-03-14T19:38:00.002-04:00

I have used my Elliptical, that is. I still love it. I get on it every night. I can feel the burn in my legs.I can feel my heart pound away. I can feel the sweat running. All of those are things that should lead to me loosing weight and getting in shape (I hope). So far, no change on the scale has been seen. I am not giving up hope though. I will continue to workout each day.

Wow

2010-03-10T07:05:00.002-05:00

That's about all I can say about my new elliptical. I love it. The pre-programmed workout's are very challenging for me and really are a workout. I chose the weight loss program at the beginner level. I really had to push myself to not quit and was glad when I finished that I didn't give up. The one thing I would do differently would be to remember to use the fan. It has a built in fan but I forgot about it until the end. I also have an iFit card to use also, I hope to use this daily. That being said. I was supposed to run this morning but now the elliptical is in the way, so I couldn't get the treadmill open by myself. I hope to get things rearranged tonight. I would still like to get my run in today.

Finished

2010-03-07T10:15:00.002-05:00

I was able to start and finish my run last night on the treadmill. I had little to no difficulty. I also ran without my shoes. They seem to be my problem. I hope to one day be able to run outside, but for now, I will continue to challenge myself on the treadmill. The elliptical should be here tomorrow. I can't wait!!!

Failed

2010-03-06T10:48:00.002-05:00

I am not a runner. I drove to the school and there was practice down on the track field, so I came home and decided to run through the neighborhood. It's a little hilly but I thought, how bad could it be. Well besides being hilly, it is really cold. I figured since I would be running, that it would be OK. Wrong on all accounts, it was really cold. By the time I finished the warm up walk, my legs were so cold they were numb. But I pushed on, I began to run. As soon as I started to run, it just so happen to be a hill to run up. I could barely do it. My shins hurt, my chest hurt from the cold air and my lungs were burning. I had to stop, I tried to just walk but my lungs were burning so bad and my ears were hurting from the cold air. I just wanted to cry, so i called my husband to come get me. I am still trying to warm up as I type this. My chest feels better, but my ears still hurt. It may be a while before I try to run outside again. I will do my treadmill later today though.

Marching on

2010-03-06T08:41:00.002-05:00

I have now completed 2 weeks of running. Plan on starting week 3 today. Contemplating whether to run outside or not. If I do, should i go to the track at the school or run through the neighborhood. There are hills in the neighborhood, and there will probably be others up at the school. Decision, decisions. I am super excited about this week. Last week was my birthday and my husband bought me some new running shoes, something I have never had. Although I find it difficult to run with them on. I feel on the treadmill that I need to go aster then usual, but I also feel as though I am going to trip and fall over my feet if I don't look down at them. So I am hoping that running outside works out OK and I don't fall. The other reason I am so excited is that he also got me an Elliptical. It comes on Monday and I can't wait to use it. Pretty soon I will have a whole gym in my bedroom. Maybe we should move the old bow-flex in the basement up here too, since no one uses it down there. Hmmm, something to think about!!

Off the couch again

2010-02-27T16:56:00.003-05:00

I have resumed running again. I am doing c25k again. I made it through week 6 last time, so this time I am starting at week 1, but on an incline this time. I completed week 1 earlier this week and am starting week 2 today. I finally went out and purchased a good running bra. I love it, I think. It was kinda expensive as far a bra goes, but it does what it is supposed to do. However it is a little snug, but I guess that is how it does what it does so well. I still need to invest in some running shoes though. I am also considering getting a game for the wii, the Active Personal Trainer. It looks encouraging. Today I played Wii outdoor challenge with my daughter and I must say, it was tiring. There were times I could feel my thighs burning. I have been trying to eat better, but keep getting sidetracked in that department. A lot of these diet/healthy foods, give me a lot of gas. Not a good thing to have at work. Eventually I will find the right combo of foods that I can stick with. But for now, off to run to start week 2!!!

More Snow

2010-02-10T20:52:00.003-05:00

I haven't checked in here in a while. How ironic that I wrote about snow on my last post, because we have been inundated with snow over the last week. We recently went on a cruise the end of Jan. It was wonderful. But since we have been back, approx 10 days, it has snowed 4 times. These last 2 times have been blizzards. The first one, last weekend gave us about 30 inches of snow. The 2nd blizzard today has added another almost 20 inches of snow. The total of snow for this year alone is up to almost 83 inches ( I think last years total was maybe 20 inches if that). And in case you were not aware, I HATE SNOW!!!!!!!!!! There has been talk of another possible snow storm on Mon. I don't know what we are going to do. Grocery stores are out of food, unable to get deliveries, gas stations are out of gas (not that I could go anywhere to need gas), the snow plows are getting stuck on side streets, since some are yet to have been plowed since the first storm on Fri. It is just crazy. The news stations have been on the air since Fri night. I really would like to see some regular TV, thank you very much. Well, since I am pretty grumpy about this whole thing, I better go.

Snow

2009-12-20T10:54:00.002-05:00

I hate snow. I want to move some place where it never snows but my family does not. It started snowing late Friday night and snowed into the early hours of Sunday morning. I thin we have close to 20 inches out there. Fortunately it doesn't snow like this often. I did go out for a bit yesterday with the girls. It's just not fun for me. I'm cold, miserable and just plain unhappy. Today is sunny and very windy and cold. I was planning on spending this weekend getting my Christmas shopping and wrapping and baking done. The baking is almost done. And I can't wrap until I have bought the gifts, so no luck there. So instead I watch and take pictures/video's of my family in the snow. Last night we ventured out in our bathing suits to get in the hot tub. That really felt good, until we ha to get out and walk through the shoveled path of snow back into the house. Today my plan is just to stay warm.

I also did Week 1 Day 3 of my 200 sit ups yesterday. It was tough to do 87 situps. I'm not sure how I am going to do it.

83

2009-12-17T07:22:00.002-05:00

Sit-ups today. I just did Week 1 Day 2 (level 3) I only did 2 more then the minimum on the last rep. This is hard!!! I really started to feel it yesterday in my abs. I almost forgot to do them this morning. I am so stressed out about everything else in my life, I'm hoping that this will just be a little something for me and something I won't stress about having to do.

200

2009-12-15T07:27:00.002-05:00

That's the number of sit-ups I hope to complete. Sit-ups have always been fairly easy for me, as opposed to the 200 push-up challenge. So I took my initial test Sunday and did 27 sit-ups. Today I started Week 1 Day 1, and according to my initial test, on Level 3. That's quite impressive for me, usually I am on the lowest level for any type of physical activity. I am excited about this challenge, it's only 6 weeks, so I hope to be able to complete it. With the c25k, I was able to complete 6 weeks before I started slacking. Today's sit-ups were a bit challenging by the time I got to the 4th & 5th reps. But I am proud to say that I did 68 sit-ups today. On the last rep I did one more then the minimum and that was really pushing it. I'm sure I will feel it tomorrow.

Stressed

2009-12-12T20:46:00.003-05:00

But I guess is comes with the territory this time of year. But I usually am able to take things in stride, but not currently. I am beginning to become stressed beyond my limits. I don't even know where to start.

I guess I'll start with my job. I love what I do at work to help my patients. Helping them makes me feel good, but lately not so much. The stress at work is increasing everyday and I am at the point I am ready to quit. At work they have started piling my work up an hour before I even get in, so I start behind every morning and it has been almost impossible to catch up each day. I did recently complain about this and was told it would be looked into and taken care of by my supervisor's until I get in, but that has yet to happen. There's nothing like starting behind the 8 ball every morning, what a great feeling. I have been looking for a new job, though. My work is merging with the hospital. As of Jan 1, we will be employee's of the hospital. Not so bad, except I worked for them for 10 years before they fired me (for taking a medical leave of absence that they denied paying for). So not looking forward to going back to someplace where you are so easily replaced. I am invaluable at my office now. Ask any doctor and they will tell you, but once Jan 1 gets here, my bosses are no longer my boss. While they would have no reason to fire me at this point, it's just the thought of having to go back to those politics again. So this past week I had to apply for my same position at the hospital. It was created just me, so no competition. I had to go for an "interview" and fill out recommendation cards for a job I already have. I had to get blood work done, get my shots updated, do a drug test, show proof of residency for Homeland Security screening, and have a background check done on me. All of this for a job I have already been doing for 3 yrs. I also had to fill out the paperwork for my new health insurance, the cost per pay period will go UP $70. I am not going to be paid any more, but I have to pay out more in benefits. I've been stressing a little over that, because another thing that is a source of stress for me is money.

Money has been a little tight lately. I'm not sure why, we haven't been buying Christmas gifts or anything. I still have all of that to do yet. I tried applying for a home equity loan but was denied. We have more then $100k in equity in our home and I couldn't even borrow a measly $10k to help get caught up on the bills. After the holiday's I may talk with someone and try again. In the mean time will just keep paying the minimum until we can get caught back up again. That will be tough with buying Christmas stuff too, but it will all work out, it always does. But this brings me to another point of stress, money for out upcoming vacation.

We leave in about 6 weeks for our Disney Cruise!! I am very excited about this, for many reasons. 1. I hate winter and can't wait to be where it is warm. 2. We have never been on a cruise before and it seems like a lot of fun. 3. I am really going to need a vacation after the upcoming merger at work Jan 1. But there is still so much I still need to do to prepare for this trip. I still need to book a flight, with the money I've yet to come up with yet. I still need to book a hotel and get a rental car for the drive from the airport to the port and another car for the return trip to the airport after the cruise. I can't really reserve those things, until I know when our flight will be. Which brings me back to the not having money thing again. It is such a vicious cycle.

I am so stressed out, I have been unable to exercise. Seems like an excuse I know, and I guess in some ways it is, but I have been having chest tightness associated with my anxiety of things, which prevents me from exercising. I usually take medicine to help with those symptoms but have been unable to with my recent drug test that I had to take. That is the reason I couldn't work at the hospital to begin with. I couldn't take my "anxiety" medicine and still work as a nurse at the hospital, so they let me go. Now I am back and still taking the medicine. I did disclose that information to them at the interview but I didn't want it to show up in my drug screening. I didn't need to give them a reason for them to not let me do my job again. I am just so overwhelmed, that I just feel like crying all the time. And in fact many times driving home form work over the last few weeks I have.

So annoyed

2009-11-20T07:20:00.002-05:00

I think I was not meant to be a runner. I still have not been able to get my runs in. It was Wednesday before I was finally feeling well enough to eat again. But I woke up Tuesday with the worse rash ever. (I have never had a real rash before) It is from my thighs to my armpits on both sides. Thank goodness it's not itchy and only slightly painful to touch. Turns out that I have folliculitis form being in our new hot tub for only 15 mins. What makes me the most annoyed is that everyone else has been in it everyday up until Tuesday and I am the only one that this has affected (not that I want anyone else to have this). It is so bad, that I have been on antibiotics since Wednesday night. It is slightly better, but it is still bad. I still don't want any clothes rubbing on it, so running is still out. I won't let anyone get back in the hot tub now until my husband does something to get rid of what ever caused this to me. I am so annoyed!!

Amazed

2009-11-15T12:53:00.002-05:00

I truly am. I had been running for 6 weeks straight and sporadically since. I also changed to healthier eating habits and did not loose 1 pound. Not one. I got sick Thursday night. Came on rather suddenly when I was getting ready for my run and now 3 days later, it appears I have lost 5 lbs. That's right 5 lbs!!! I can't win.

I still don't feel altogether better yet, but I am getting there.

A new begining

2009-11-11T22:17:00.002-05:00

For my husband that is. After much harassing, I was able to get him to run tonight. He initially sad no, but after pointing out the need to exercise in graphic details for him, he gave in. I hope it's not this hard every night to get him to run. This is very much needed for him, according to a recent test he had done, he already has some permanent heart disease. He's yet to start on his cholesterol medicine, despite the dire need. I'm hoping all the info I gave him tonight will convince him to do the right thing. So far week 1 day 1 complete. Let's hope getting him to run on Friday goes smoother then this.

Week 7 Day 3

2009-11-10T21:59:00.003-05:00

Wow another week done!!!! When does the running get easier or maybe I should say, enjoyable? I still don't enjoy it, but do it because i know I should. Tonight's run seemed to go by quicker. But that's because Hulu.com is my new favorite site. I watched Extreme Makeover, Home Edition. It really makes the time fly by. Although it was a bit hard to run while crying (I always cry watching that show!!)

My husband has been cleared to exercise now. So hopefully I can get him to start running tomorrow.

Week 7 Day 2

2009-11-09T20:08:00.002-05:00

Does it really count if it's been a week since I last ran? But that's what the app on the ipod said, so I push on. It has been a busy and crazy weekend. I have barely had a chance to rest, so much going on and so much to do. The weekend started on Friday with Doctor appts, that were not the best, shopping for birthday party supplies and into Sat with a lot of running to do, on top of all the usual cleaning that needs to be done, as well as getting a homemade Apple pie baked to take to a baby shower in the evening. Sun was just as busy with 6 loads of laundry to get done in between having my daughters Birthday party at the pool and getting her packed for an overnight school trip today. So once all of that was done, I ran. I was tired before starting but it felt good to be able to sustain my pace for the whole 25 mins. Usually it is my left leg that gives me some trouble at times but it was my right leg last night. Nothing major, just maybe should have stretched first. The run was good and I did it!!! I thought maybe I would try to get a little running in tonight, but I am so tired after an extremely busy day at work. Got out almost an hour later then usual. On a positive note, the hot tub is almost ready for use. My husband was draining it tonight after putting the jet cleaner in yesterday. He'll wipe it all down tomorrow and fill it up and it will be ready to use after that (once the chemicals are just right) That will certainly feel good after a run, the cool air and the hot water, ah Heaven!!!

Check up

2009-11-06T13:49:00.002-05:00

My check up went well. The doctor was very pleased with everything. I go back in 3 months and if i still haven't lost any weight, we will pursue the hypothyroidism route then. So in the meantime I will continue to run and hope the pounds come off. My husband on the other hand did not have as great an appt as me. He has been instructed to not run or to do any strenuous exercise until all of his testing is done. So for him, he will hopefully start with healthier eating habits. I will continue to encourage him in the right directions.

Short lived

2009-11-05T19:10:00.002-05:00

That's what my recent success seems to be. After running only 1 Day, my husband is done for now. He says next week will be better when he's not so busy at work. I told him there will always be an excuse, so just DO IT. But didn't happen. We have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, I am hoping that the doctor really stresses exercise and healthy diet to him. I have a feeling his cholesterol is still high since he is unable to view his lab results online like I was able to. My labs were essentially good. The only thing is my TSH is a little high, which would explain why I haven't been able to loose any weight despite my change in easting habits and all the running. Hoping for big changes after our appts tomorrow.

Bug and a small Success

2009-11-04T07:14:00.002-05:00

I seem to have come down with a slight stomach bug. Nothing like last year when I thought I would literally die, but enough to be bothersome and prohibit me from eating and sleeping normally. So no running last night. I thought I might try, but it turns out that eating dinner, no matter how hungry I was, was not a good idea. But now on to the good news.

Success!!!! My husband finally did Week 1 Day 1 on Mon night. It wasn't too bad for him, other then the fact he didn't really stretch first. He said his breathing was OK (although it sounded labored at times to me) the whole time but his shins hurt. Tonight I will be trying to get him back on for Day 2. I'm hoping if I can get him to do this long enough for him to see results and then he'll want to do it on his own. Wish me luck.

Back on track

2009-11-01T22:11:00.002-05:00

I decided today was as good a day as any to resume week 7 day1 of c25k. It felt great and was easily doable, especially after on those incline last week. After the first 5-6 mins of running my breathing finally evened out and I was able to complete the run without being so out of breath. My legs held out for the long haul though, they were burning and numb afterwards for quite a while though. But no pain, no gain!!!! Another conclusion about running that I have come to is that semi-large boobs and running don't go together very well. I've tried a couple of different bras, and the one that works the best is also the most uncomfortableist. It is very snug, go for running, bad for breathing. But I guess I can't have everything.

My husband says he will start running tomorrow. I am going to try and hold him to that. He knows he's going to the doctors on Friday and that he will probably be discussing his weight. I don't care what it is that is getting him to run, I'm just glad he's willing o do it.

I came across another program I may try on another blog (thanks Mr &Mrs F). It is the 100 push-up challenge. I'm still looking into it, but I am seriously considering it. I love these weekly programs that advance you slowly. They seem to work, or at least c25k does. I should begin looking into 5K's that I may be interested in since i will be finished the program soon. I wonder if we have a Turkey Trot around here?

Changes

2009-11-01T15:32:00.003-05:00

I plan on restarting some kind of diet tomorrow. I need to make changes, not just for me but for others to see and hopefully follow. I am concerned about my husband. I have been asking him since I started C25K to please join me. He always has an excuse. He is becoming more overweight, not obese by any means, but certainly overweight. He is only 36 yrs old and very much out of shape. As was I. I notice now how short of breath he becomes with physical activity. I see his unhealthy eating habits. I can't make him change. I try citing reasons why he should exercise or not eat the junk food, but it falls on deaf ears. A year and a half ago his cholesterol was dangerously high. He was having another issue and the doctor said to come back after that was resolved to start on medicine. He has never been back. I was able to get him to go get blood work this past weekend and we will both be seeing the doctor on Friday. I am hoping he can talk some sense into him. You see his father died at age 50 of a heart attack and his grandfather died in his early 60's of a heart attack. I fear he may be next.

Day of rest

2009-10-29T19:32:00.003-04:00

Not sure that is what I really need after 2 weeks of not running, but that is what I am doing today. I have plans for a run tomorrow so I can get back on track for Week 7 on Mon. I have been trying to loose weight and that has not been happening. This has been very discouraging for me. So this week I have started to keep track of what I have been eating. I have "an app for that" on my phone. After only 2 days of keeping track I and see why I have not lost any weight. I love this app, it shows me in graph format what my intake is verses my exercise. My intake is way more the my output (so to speak). I either need to decrease what and the amount that I eat or increase my physical activity, or both!!! So I plan to start anew on Mon. I know, I know why wait until Mon, but I have no will power and so if I set a date I can plan for it and I am more likely to stick with it. So for a few more days I'll continue to track my foods, so I can formulate a plan of change for next week.

Climbing a mountain

2009-10-28T19:56:00.003-04:00

At least that what it feels like to be on the treadmill again. I can still remember week 1 and how hard those runs seemed and how far I've come. But stopping for 2 weeks had me slowly slipping down that mountain. I ran on the treadmill yesterday. I choose a pre-programmed run. It was for 30mins, with a max speed of 4 and a max incline of 6. Sounds easy, huh? Well let me tell you, it most certainly was not, but I made it through the whole program. What I am most proud of is the fact that I did it without holding on to the railings to get me through the tough climbs and I actually ran during the running segments instead of stepping off and letting the program continue. Although I completed the run, it was difficult and I was tired. I thought it was because it was so late, 9:30pm. I was awake for hours after that, it was close to 1:30am before I fell asleep. Needless to say, I was tired cranky and exhausted when I woke up. So today I decided to run when I got home. This time I choose a shorter but more intense program. It was 20 mins, with a max speed of 4 and max incline of 6. I once again was able to complete the program without cheating, but thought I was going to fall over from exhaustion when it was done. My legs were numb and my chest was tight. I think tomorrow I will go back to the "easier" 30 min program. I plan to resume week 7 next week, if all goes as planned. I have decided that running for 10 mins on an incline is harder then running 23 mins on a flat surface. So I should be in good shape to resume. I still don't enjoy running but I know for my own health I need to continue.

Wake up call

2009-10-27T07:11:00.002-04:00

It's been obvious that I have not been running. There have been no posts. I could make up a million excuses for why I didn't, but the truth is, I just didn't want to. I really don't enjoy running, but I was getting better at it. When I say better, I mean the runs were becoming easier for me in terms of breathing through them. I knew I couldn't pick up where I left off 2 weeks ago, so I thought I would do pre-programed run on the treadmill. One I have done many, many times before. Only 20 mins. But I didn't make it all the way through. I gave up. My chest started to get tight and it was hard to breath. While I was running 20 mins straight on my last week of C25K, it was all with no incline. The program had me doing inclines and I just couldn't handle it. I will try again tonight to do a program with inclines. I think ultimately it will be good for me. But boy do you realize how quickly you loose that endurance of you stop. So when I do get back on track and finish this, what am I going to do to keep it up? I need a plan.

The reality (or finality) of H1N1

2009-10-25T22:26:00.000-04:00

It been a long week. My daughter's friend from school died of H1N1 on Wed morning. It is the most heartbreaking story I have heard. I didn't know the boy. She just met him this year. He graduated last year but came everyday to help in the drama dept after school. He was like a mentor to these kids. He loved acting and wanted to be an actor. He was also loved by most everyone in the school, I think. He was Homecoming King last year, what makes that amazing to me is he was not a jock, not particularly handsome and he was even gay. But he had charisma and charm, so much so that everyone wanted to be his friend. Now he is gone. His parents did everything right. After he got sick with fever and cough that didn't get better in a few days they took him to the emergency room. They gave him an antibiotic and sent them home. The next day he had difficulty breathing so they took him back. He was immediately transported to a trauma hospital. He journey from there is something you only hear about in movies. He went into resp failure after his lungs filled with fluid and was placed on a ventilator. He body couldn't fight the infection and ultimately his legs were amputated to help conserve blood flow to his vital organs. If he had survived, he would have lost his hands/arms next. But his heart gave out and he died at the age of 18. From everything that I know, he was healthy and had no underling conditions. My heart breaks for his family. I am afraid to send my children to school or out in public because I don't want them to be next. The H1N1 vaccine is not readily avail in our county yet. A very few have gotten it, but there are many children out of school each day with what is prob the Swine Flu. While most cases are mild, you just never know. Tonight is the viewing. My daughter wants to go, so I will be going with her. I will be coming face to face with the reality of this virus. Please keep his family in your prayers.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl

2009-10-15T16:02:00.003-04:00

As you can plainly see I have not been running, as I have not been posting. There does appear to be some direct correlation there. I knew I was going to have a busy week this week and had already planned on probably not being able to get all my runs in. Since Sunday I have been working on the rainbow cake and then icing it on Monday. Tuesday was the big birthday day. The birthday girl woke up with a runny nose, so I sent her to school with her cupcakes to share and a new pack of tissues. Luckily I was able to leave work a little early to come home a clean up for the party, only to get home and find out the birthday girl now has a fever, sore throat, headache and cough. Who knew turning 10 could be so difficult. After some medicine the fever was down and headache was gone so the party was still on. But since then the fever has come and gone a few times and the cough gets pretty bad at night. All of this wouldn't be so bad if we weren't going away tomorrow to Great Wolf Lodge. So here's to hoping for the best. Hope you had a Happy Birthday anyway baby girl!!!

Week 6 Day 3

2009-10-11T22:44:00.002-04:00

These weeks just seem to be flying by. I now have another week under my belt. It took me until today to be able to get it in. Things have been a little busy here lately with my daughters birthday coming up on Tuesday and also we've been shopping for bathing suits. Hard to find now that summer is over, but we will need them for Great Wolf Lodge this weekend. I spent the weekend doing some much needed cleaning for the party this week and baking a cake. I recently saw a recipe for a rainbow cake, so I thought I would try it. There are 6 layers (for all the colors of the rainbow). I will icing it tomorrow. It was early evening by the time I got on the treadmill. 25 mins seemed like a long time. But by watching King of Queens, I was able to run with out much struggle. I did run at my previous speed of 4mph. For week 7 I will try to up my speed with the longer runs. What I did discover is that my iPhone app really only works if my iPod is playing, otherwise it doesn't tell me when to run/walk unless I look at it to check. Luckily I do check my time pretty frequently. Next time I will have my iPod running as well, even if I am watching a movie. I am still debating whether or not i will do any runs this week or not. I have so much to do just about every night until we leave. If I have time I will run but I'm not getting up early to do it this week. Too much to do!!

Week 6 Day 2

2009-10-07T21:31:00.002-04:00

Running, running, running!!! That's what I have been doing. Today was no exception. I have found that on the longer runs, that watching something on my laptop helps make the time go by faster. I have been going about 2 miles each time. I have been trying to up my speed. So far so good. Friday will be tougher.

Week 6 Day 1

2009-10-05T20:28:00.002-04:00

Wow, I have been running for 6 WEEKS!!! Why have I not lost a pound? Could the scale be stuck? Seriously. I had to make my watch band smaller today, it was practically sliding all the way around.

Anyway, back to my run. I decided today since I was able to run for 20 mins at my normal speed (4mph) that I should step it up a notch this week. So I ran today at the whopping speed of 4.3mph!!!! I know, amazing I could go that fast!!! But seriously, it kicked my butt. I felt like it was weeks 1&2 again. I really had to push my self to get through my runs. But I guess that's the point of this whole program, huh?!! Apparently by the end of week 9 I will be running 10 min miles. I'm not so sure about that, right now I'm at about 15 mins miles. I am so glad that I have stuck with this. I am psyched about completing this and actually being able to run a 10 min mile!!!

Week 5 Day 3

2009-10-03T21:41:00.002-04:00

I can hardly believe I am saying this but, I DID IT!!!!! I ran for 20 mins!!!! I am so proud of myself. I wasn't sure I would get my run in today. We have been so busy. We got up early and took the kids to the museum. The Disney Christmas Carole train was here. We had a really good time walking around and looking/touching the old trains. When we got home, I still had all the cleaning to do, vacuum, dust, straighten, clean the bathrooms, kitchen, etc. It was after 6pm by the time I got all done. After relaxing for a bit, I decided it was now or never. Instead of listening to my iPod, I got my laptop and put it in front of the treadmill. I put a King of Queens DVD in and started my program. Needless to say. The show helped immensely. The time went by and I was able to run the whole time. The first few minutes were rough and I had my doubts but then it got easier. The last few minutes were rough too and I was certainly glad when they were done. Now I will be able to get back to my M-W-F sched nest week. We go back to run/walk intervals on Mon. I defiantly like those better. But at least I know now that I can do it.

Still no luck in getting my husband to run. I'll keep suggesting it though.

Week 5 Day 2

2009-10-01T21:37:00.003-04:00

After much thought, I finally made myself run tonight. I am so glad I did. It feels great to have made it this far. I was a bit concerned that I wouldn't be able to run the full 8 mins, but I did. What may have helped is that during the the last 3 mins or so I was helping my daughter with her spelling homework. I read her her words while she wrote them in the book. When the 8 mins were up, I was surprised but glad. So when the next 8 min run came up, I knew I could do it. Although this one seemed much longer, probably because it was just me and my ipod. I really need to create a playlist with good running songs, things that are upbeat. That really makes a lot of difference in how long the runs feel. I am a bit nervous about running for a full 20 mins. I will probably put that off until Sat and get back on my regular sched on Mon. Now it is time for me to rest, since my legs are burning. I am so proud of myself tonight!!!

Issues

2009-10-01T06:57:00.002-04:00

This should be a post about how my runs went, but I didn't run yesterday. There have been a few things going on this week and I just couldn't do it. For starters my husband and I have been having some issues and now they seem to be interfering with my ability to do the things that need to be done. I have also been having some health related issues going on as well. Nothing serious, but just enough to make running an unpleasant experience. I was planning on trying to run this morning, I set my alarm and everything. But these issues with my husband seem to have me a little depressed and I just didn't want to get up. I am going to try and run today after work. It's also hard to get out of bed in the morning now, when it's so warm and toasty under the covers and it is freezing (I'm a summer girl) outside!! There is so much on my mind, it's hard to think straight, so before I say to much...

Week 5 Day 1

2009-09-28T19:19:00.002-04:00

What a way to start the week. Good thing I didn't look at the program for the whole week or I may not have made it through today's workout. I have to say it was hard getting up when the kids didn't have to get up and go to school. But I dragged my butt out of bed and did it. The 5 min runs were not bad at all. I'm not sure if it was because I finally brought the fan up and put it by the treadmill or not,but it felt great to not be all sweaty. This weeks programs will either make me or break me as a runner as by Day 3 this week I will be running for 20 mins. Not looking forward to that at all!! On a positive note, while I have not seemed to have lost any weight, my clothes seem to be looser and my husband told me I feel smaller when he put his arms around me this weekend. All inspiration to continue running. Another good thing was how much energy I had this weekend while cleaning and helping my husband out in the yard. I didn't need to stop once for a breather while moving the shed and reassembling it, granted he did most of the work, but before I would have had to stop a second. Yea me!!

I have been having some problems with my left foot recently. I'm concerned about stress fractures. I broke my L foot 2 years ago. It took over 3 months (because I continued to complain of pain) before they confirmed, with a MRI, it was broke. I haven't had any real problems with it. Sometimes it aches in the winter when it's cold, but nothing serious. But lately I have been having some pain in that foot when I walk. Sometimes now my whole L leg hurts, not sure if related to my foot or not. So for now I will continue to take it easy on my days off from running and hopefully will be able to get some real running shoes soon. That may help.

Accountability

2009-09-27T13:22:00.002-04:00

Even though I know no one reads this blog, I still feel that by writing here helps to keep me running. I feel like I have to put something here, like it's expected. There are mornings that I really don't want to get up and run, but knowing that I have to write about it here keeps me going. Why is that when no one reads it. Am I lacking that much inside of me that I need to "make up" a reason to do it. You would think just getting healthy would be enough. But if this is what it takes, then that's OK with me, as long as I can get it done. I guess another thought is that maybe one day in the future there will be someone looking for encouragement and that they will find this blog with my journey. After reading maybe they will realize that they can do it too.

Week 4 Day 3

2009-09-25T21:35:00.002-04:00

The 4th week is complete!!! I love this exercise/running program. It really does what it says it will do (so far). I am amazed each week when I am able to complete a week and the 3rd day is easier then the 2nd and certainly the 1st day. I never believed when I started this 4 weeks ago that I would actually be able to run. I hope that I would, but never really expected it. What is a surprise today is that I was able to get my run in. Last night was a bad night. I was up for a while not feeling well, having abd pains and nausea. My alarm went off this morning @6am to run, but I just turned it off and rolled back over. I barely made it to work this morning, but by the end of the day I was feeling better. When I got home I got my run in be fore dinner. I felt great. I was even able to increase my speed a bit tonight. I went almost 2mi in the 30 mins. That was the furthest yet!!

Week 4 Day 2

2009-09-24T21:46:00.002-04:00

I can hardly believe that I am writing about Week 4!!! I did do my runs on the treadmill yesterday. It is still a struggle to get up at 6am to run, but I do. It was easier then Monday. I can make it through almost the whole 5 mins before I really start dreading the running. That last 1 min or so are really a struggle. But I push myself and I get through it. I really do not enjoy running, it's just not fun. What I do like is the increased stamina that I have. I love that I am able to do things for extended periods without getting out of breath. Even carrying the vacuum up the stairs is easier. I love it!! Another thing that I am not liking is the achyness that I have been feeling in my left leg. It doesn't feel like muscle aches, so I'm not really sure what it is from. But I will try again Friday. Hopefully this won't stop me from running. Besides I want to be able to say that I did it!!

Week 4 Day 1

2009-09-21T20:14:00.002-04:00

It's a good thing there are 2 rest days before I start a new week. Today's runs were particularly hard. I mean, 5mins. I have never run 5 mins before in my life. And to think i did twice today. I really had to push myself the last 1-2 mins of each 5 min run. But I did it. I was exhausted today when I was done. But I love the face that I am sticking to it and pushing myself. I still think I should take some measurements. Better late then never, I guess. I still need to get new shoes too, but money prevails on that one and they will have to wait.

Week 3 Day 3

2009-09-18T09:39:00.003-04:00

Whoo Hoo!!!! I am done week 3. It feels great. Today's run were so doable for me. I didn't get nearly as out of breath as Wednesday. I also considered doing an extra 90 sec run on the end. But due to the time I decided not to push it. Besides, since Wednesday my left upper leg/hip has been hurting. Actually it's the leg that I commonly refer to as my "achy leg", it's not new for it to ache. It's just I'm not sure if it was from my running that day or if it's more arthritis like and was responding to the change in the weather. I know sounds stupid for a 35 yo to be c/o arthritis type pain, but this has been going on for years with this leg and I don't know why or what sets it off. But I was able to run today with out it bothering me and it still feels OK now. I have been feeling great lately and feel like I have more energy. I love this feeling. I guess this is the "healthy body, healthy mind" thing my Psychologist always referred to. Now I get it. Tomorrow we are taking the kids to an amusement park with their friends. Lots of walking tomorrow, but I'm looking forward to it. Well since I have off, I need to get to cleaning since the man to do the final inspection for our house is coming today. (After 2 yrs, it's about time!!)

Week 3 Day 2

2009-09-17T06:58:00.002-04:00

I can't believe I forgot to write about this yesterday. Well, I did get up and run yesterday morning. This week has been easier then I had anticipated. I feel great when I'm all done. Not just from my workout but from my feeling of accomplishment. I still have not seemed to have lost any weight when I step on the scale, but my clothes tell a different story. My "fat" jeans no longer fit at all without a belt. My upper arms don't look as far as they did. I kinda wish I had taken measurements when I started, but that's OK. My watch can almost spin around my wrist by itself, so I will have to make it smaller soon too. With all these changes I am really looking forward to Friday's workout and continuing on to next week.

Shoes

2009-09-15T19:46:00.013-04:00

Well my shoes are definitely in need of an upgrade. I was hesitant to buy new shoes since I didn't know how long I would actually stick with this, but everything seems to be going well so I think it's time to invest in some decent shoes. These are what I am trying to run in now. They prob look OK, just a little old and worn. When actually it is probably more of a work out just trying to keep them on my feet. That's right, there are no backs on these "running" shoes of mine. I have been making out OK, but maybe "OK" is just not good at anymore. So maybe this weekend I will be heading to a shoe store to be fitted for running shoes. This is a big step for me and a huge commitment. But I am ready!!!

Week 3 Day 1

2009-09-14T19:54:00.003-04:00

All I can say is, I DID IT !!! I was nervous for really no reason. I'm not saying it wasn't hard, but it was doable. I was so worried about the 3 min run, that I didn't fully look at the running schedule. I thought that I was doing 2 90 sec runs followed by 2 3 min runs, when actually it was a 90 sec run followed by a 3 min run. I was almost done the 3 mins when I realized that I had been running that long. The second 3 min run was a little harder, but only because I knew it was coming. The mind is a powerful enemy. I am actually looking forward to Wednesday's run. I can barely believe that I just said that, but I am. I am even seriously considering buying some good running shoes. I'll have to post a pic of the shoes I run in now. It's hard to believe that I am even able to run with them on. Didn't do so good on the eating part today, but tomorrow is another day.

Nervous

2009-09-13T21:25:00.002-04:00

That's an understatement. I just don't know how I am going to run for that length of time tomorrow. I know I shouldn't be worrying about it, but I am. Even though I am nervous about it, I am still going to try an attempt the runs. I will do the best I can, besides that all I can do. I feel like this has been looming over me all day. I have tried to keep busy to distract myself from thinking about it. We had everyone over today for a small party for my daughter's dad's birthday, and to watch the football game. S was really surprised everyone was here to celebrate his birthday. He's been feeling kinda down lately, even though he should be rejoicing that he is alive to celebrate his birthday this year. I mean, it's only been a little over 2 months since his near fatal accident. Everyone seemed to have a good time. Everything is all cleaned up and now I'm getting ready for bed and can't stop thinking about what lays ahead of me for the morning.

Week 2 Day 3

2009-09-11T19:55:00.002-04:00

Another week down. I was really tired this morning but I got up and did it anyway. The runs were definitely easier then they were on Monday. I am really surprised about that. At work I have been taking the stairs (3 flights) for over a year now and this week is the first time I noticed not being winded after I ran (hurried) up the stairs. It felt good. I'm a little concerned about being able to do week 3. Even though the runs seemed easier then Monday, they were not a piece of cake. I didn't feel like I could have run longer. But I will try on Monday because I really want to succeed. I have two trips planned that I will be in bathing suits a lot and I want to feel comfortable in a bathing suit. What I am a little surprised about, is that I have not seemed to loose any weight. I have been dieting for 3 weeks and running now for 2, but my weight seems to stay the same. I guess I should just be pleased that I have not gained any weight. Like I've said before, I really don't care about how much I way as long as I feel good about myself. I still feel the same, not any smaller :(

Excited

2009-09-10T07:14:00.002-04:00

I have not been this excited for a while. We (mostly me) have been busy looking up information to get away and go on a vacation. We have a small trip planned in Oct to go to Great Wolf Lodge with my sister and her family. I am only minimally excited about that trip. The kids are pretty excited though. My hope is that I will be in better shape by then and will be able to enjoy going to a waterpark. The bigger excitement goes along with the trip I am planning for Jan. We will be going on a cruise. Not just any cruise but a Disney cruise. It will be for 4 nights. The kids are not excited about going on a cruise at all. The younger one is a bit nervous I think because she doesn't know what to expect. The older one is afraid the the boat will sink like the Titanic or that pirates will hijack the boat. I have been reassuring her constantly that the chances of the those things happening are slim to none, since there are no icebergs in the Caribbean. She seems to be coming around. I am so excited!!!!! I also plan on being in better shape and actually being able to enjoy myself on this trip. No more sitting out or having to push myself because I don't feel good. I already am feeling less short a breath when I do things now, so I can't wait to be able to just enjoy myself and my kids. Disney cruise here we come!!!!!!!

Week 2 Day 2

2009-09-09T15:26:00.002-04:00

Is complete, but barely!! This morning did not start out so smoothly and I almost didn't workout. I'm thinking now, I just should have stayed in bed. I had asked my husband to wake me up today @ 6am, since the kids were going in late to school today (had dentist appts). He woke me up at 6:20am, which didn't leave me enough time to be done before the kids had to get up and get ready. After waking fully, I decided I had time to workout and could shower while they ate breakfast. Seemed like a good plan, right? So I change to workout and as I am doing my warmup walk (1 min 30 sec into the warm up), I closed my eyes for a minute to re-think how I should best plan my time for the morning. I was just thinking I should probably hold on while walking with my eyes closed, when my left foot stepped of the treadmill and my right foot shot out behind me and got stuck under the plastic edging on the treadmill, but I was able to catch myself with the hand rails. So no real harm was done it seemed. I retrieved my iPhone from across the room (I may need a new one by the time I get done with this program), and restarted my walk. All seemed to be going well, except the one time had to stop and let the dogs out, be/c they would wait. When I got to the cooldown walk, then started to notice my right foot and ankle were beginning to hurt. By the time I was all done and showered, I realized that almost all the muscles in my body hurt from the fall. I have been so sore most of the day, I have just been taking it easy. I will do the same for tomorrow as well, since Friday is another work out day.

Fell of the wagon

2009-09-08T12:31:00.002-04:00

The diet wagon that is. Today has not been a healthy eating day at all for me. The morning started out good. I even though today is a rest day from running, I got up and did my 10 total body workout dvd. Had my usual cereal for breakfast, showered and headed off to my doctors appt. But since I've been home, I think I've eaten everything I see. Not good, not good. The only half gone, so there is still time to turn this wagon around for me to hop back on.

Wish me luck!!!

Week 2 Day 1

2009-09-07T11:06:00.002-04:00

It really feels good to be able to say that!!! I was a little skeptical about today's workout, with today being a holiday and all. But I did it anyway. It was easier then I though it would be, but also hard at the same time. The first week really did prepare me for the one min runs and then some. It was the last 20 secs of each run that I would sorta struggle with in my breathing and feeling it in my legs. But I persevered through it and I now feel great that I did it. I'm actually looking forward to Wednesday's run!!!

I didn't weigh myself today, because I'm afraid of what I might see. While I have been OK on my diet up until Saturday, it was really bad Saturday and Sunday. But it is a holiday weekend, so I know it won't be like this every weekend.

As for the rest of my family, they all say they want to work out too, but I have yet to see any of them actually do it. So for now it is just me and I will continue to jog along by myself!!

Stats:
Time - 30 mins
Distance - 1.68
Walking Spd - 3.0
Running Spd - 4.3

Week 1 Day 3

2009-09-04T23:49:00.002-04:00

WOW!!! Feels so good to complete week 1. I am nervous about week 2 but I have faith in myself that I can do it, or at least attempt it.

This morning started out a little rough. I forgot to set my alarm, so I got up about 10 mins later then usual, so I felt like I had to rush to get going on the treadmill ( I like to be done by the time my daughter leaves for school). The running went great. I seem to have found a good pace. All was going well until about a minute and a half left in the cool down and i reached up to wipe my face and pulled my iPhone out of the cup holder and the plugged yanked out of the phone ( believe it or not but the ear buds stayed in my ears) as well and it went shooting off the back of the treadmill. So i stopped the treadmill and got off and tried to find it under the machine. Luckily it was ok. But I decided that I was done with the cool down. I still felt great that I had actually completed 1 whole week. I still can't believe it.

Unfortunately I didn't feel as good as I usually do during the day. While running I noticed a slight twinge in my left side, where I normally have some discomfort, but I continued to run anyway. Not sure if that had anything to with it, but my side as been hurting more then usual today. So I plan on just taking it easy tomorrow

Week 1 Day 2

2009-09-02T07:05:00.003-04:00

Sure does feel good to be another day closer to my goal!!! It is still a struggle to get up and get going but I am determined to do this. This mornings run started out a little rough, despite the fact I had on my old tennis shoes and a new sports bra this time, because I forgot to get my water bottle before I started. So about halfway through I was so thirsty I could barely swallow, so I jumped off and got a sip out of an old bottle of water that was next to the bed. Not refreshing but it got me through the workout. This morning was certainly easier then Mondays run. I hope this trend continues, b/c I don't want to be the only one in history that has to repeat week 1.

As for my husband joining me on this journey, it has yet to happen. He says he wants to do it too but that his hip is really bothering him from bowling on Sunday. So I'll just keep encouraging him to join me.

I have also decided that I am only going to weigh myself once a week. I like to see big results, little aren't enough to keep me going. So today's stats don't look much different then Mon.

Stats:
Time - 30min
Distance - 1.6 mi
Running Speed - 4.2-4.3
Walking Speed - 3

Day of rest

2009-09-01T06:58:00.002-04:00

Boy that is what I needed this morning. Running yesterday was great and I felt good energy wise all day. I was really surprised about that, I heard it could happen, I just never believed it was true. But what I didn't really care for yesterday was how bad my muscles hurt. I didn't realize I had muscles in some of those places. But I took an ibuprofen at lunch and felt much better. I'm not sure what I plan on doing on my off days yet. I'm thinking maybe my 10 min yoga DVD might be good. Staying stretched out seems like a good idea to me!!!
As for hubby, he said he was going to start with me yesterday after dinner, but when I got home form work he said he just could, his hip was bothering him still from bowling the day before. So hopefully today he will, he says he wants to do this with me. It will be nice to have something in common like this!!

It's official - Week 1 Day 1

2009-08-31T07:15:00.003-04:00

I am a c25k'er!!!! I did my first workout this morning. After how my night last night was going, I wasn't sure I would be up for it, but I persevered. Last night it felt like I was coming down with something and felt just plain awful, and 6am sure did come early today. But I got up and started walking ( despite the irritated looks I got from my husband for being up so early and using the treadmill. I guess he thought it would wake our youngest daughter up, but it didn't). At first I wasn't sure I was going to be able to get through the whole workout, but I had downloaded the running plan on my iPhone yesterday and I love it. It's the Couch to 5k app ( I think it was $1.99, but well worth it). With this app, you can listen to your ipod and there is a voice that tells when to run, walk, and cool down. It was actually enjoyable. The first 2 run cycles were hard, but after that, It got easier and I was able to increase the speed a little on the runs. I weighed my self yesterday and the scale said 164, before I got in the shower today, I thought I would just double check my weight since I knew I was going to post my stats. Well today the scale reads 160. I know I didn't loose 4 lbs overnight, besides I 'm not a weight addict. I go by how I look, feel and how my clothes fit, so it's just for guidelines for me anyway. I am only going to be checking my weight weekly anyway, so it's a place to start!!

Stats:
time - 30mins
distance - 1.59 miles
walking spd - 3
running spd - 4 - 4.2
wt - 160-164

Goodbye Couch...

2009-08-30T18:24:00.002-04:00

Hello new healthy lifestyle!!! My plans are to workout in the mornings, so 6am tomorrow I will be up and getting ready for my first workout. I will be following the plan on http://www.coolrunning.com. I also downloaded the c25k app on my iPhone as well. I am committed this time to sticking with it. Now I will have to add more music to my ipod that is worthy of working out to. I am so excited to get started I am tempted to do day 1 of the plan tonight, but I really want to stay on a M-W-F sched. Besides I need to get used to waking up early and working out. I am not a morning person, so I hope that doesn't interfere with my plans ( I guess it only will if I let it, huh?). My plans to get my husband to join me seem to be fizzling out as we speak. But I won't give up on him yet either. Maybe I can get my daughter to join me too. We can make it a family affair. So the next time I write, I will be an official c25k'er.

I did it!!

2009-08-28T23:54:00.002-04:00

I made it through the whole day at work following my diet (which is hard since we have lunches catered 4 days a week). I also walked on the treadmill tonight. It felt good. But I didn't push myself to hard. It was just a nice long walk. In fact it took me 44 mins to go 2 miles. But none the less it felt good.Would probably feel better if I invested in some good walking/running shoes, seeing how my feet are kinda throbbing now. But I guess that is expected when you walk in bare feet. I think I may almost have hubby convinced to do this with me. By this time tomorrow we will both be officially training!! (wishful thinking or a goal to work for, not sure which but I'll take it either way).

Gearing up

2009-08-27T22:35:00.003-04:00

I am on my way to a healthy(er) lifestyle. I have restarted my special K diet (YUM, YUM). I have cleaned up my room, so now I can actually get to my treadmill and use it(and no, it was not being used as a clothes rack). I have printed out my walking/running plan, I still need to pin it up on the wall in front of the treadmill. I also printed out the course plans for the 5k in Disney World, I may pin that up in front of the treadmill too. I am trying to come up with other inspirational things to pin up there as well. I have been contemplating taking before pictures. I am not sure if they would be motivating for me or not, it may just have the opposite effect!! I have been speaking to my hubby about him getting ready to do the the 5k with me, he's not quite on board yet. But I will continue to work on him. Besides he could use the exercise as much as me, his chol was really high last year and this regular exercise could really help. My hopes would be that we could do the marathon as a family as it is called The Family 5k. I love having a goal to aim for!!!!

I'm Back!

2009-08-26T22:04:00.003-04:00

Wow, it sure has been a long time since I last posted anything. What I have also noticed is that when i stopped writing, I also stopped walking. Not good. All that hard work and commitment went right down the drain and I have no one to blame but myself. Luckily I havenot gained more then 5lbs or so back, which is really hard to believe, but the scale doesn't lie, no matter how fat I feel. So I decided that I am starting over again, with the walking and the diet. Special K here I come again!! I am also thinking about changing my walking routine. I think I am going to try and do it in the mornings before work. I have found a workout from coolrunning.com, it's couch potato to 5k in 9 wks. The workout plan is for 3 days a week. So starting on Sun or Mon (I know I should just pick a day) I will start and hopefully write about it too as I go.

Marathon? 5k, maybe

2009-02-03T22:18:00.002-05:00

I have been pretty consistent with my treadmill since I have decided to go for the marathon. I have found a new regimen to follow to get ready for the 5k. It says from the couch to 5k in 2 months, so we will see. Since starting it, I have actually run on my treadmill. I have never done that before. So I guess next will be buying a real pair of running shoes!! I also have been doing some research on elliptical's. I really would like to mix it up a bit. The treadmill gets a bit monotonous. I hope to purchase one with the next month. I don't know enough about them yet to just buy one. So far my weight has not really gone down much since Thanksgiving. But the good new is, that I have not really gained any either. I will continue to work out regularly and hopefully as I see results, it will encourage me to eat a little better. I do okay most days during the day, it's my dinners that could use some help. But now that I have a goal, I know that I can do this. Mickey has not really been supportive at all, but maybe after he see's how much I want this, he'll come around.

A new goal?

2009-01-26T07:26:00.002-05:00

While walking on the treadmill yesterday, I was contemplating new goal's for my self. I still have the overall goal to loose 20-30 more lbs and get healthy. But I've kind set my self up for a time frame. My short term goal is to be able to do my pre-programmed walks on the treadmill ( there are 3 that I do, that range from 20-30 mins) with out having to hold on for my life to finish them. My original goal was to be able to just finish the pre-programmed walks. I have been successful in that. Now I want to be able to do it with out having to support myself through out the program.
Now my long term goal is a bit bigger. I want to do a marathon. There are 2 I am considering. The date for them are already set for Jan 2010. The more reasonable one is the Family 5k. The harder part of this, will be getting the family to agree to do it too. The second is a Half Marathon. Now both of these marathons are in Disney World. The 5k is though one of the parks, the half marathon in from Epcot to the Magic Kingdom and back. So I have my goals set now. And I know I can do this!!!!!

Finally here

2009-01-23T23:48:00.002-05:00

I'm so glad that the work week is over. It seems to have dragged on. I guess because it was just so emotionally draining this week, and all the drama at home with Mickey. It's been 4 days and we still are not speaking. If he would just apologize for his rude behavior and bad temper, then maybe things could go back to the way they were. Although I don't think they will ever be right again. Something is missing in our relationship. We've talked about what changes needed to be made to make it work for each of us. I tried but after 1 day that's all I saw of his efforts. So if things go back to the way they were, it will at least be tolerable.

But on a brighter note, I stuck to my diet today and walked on the treadmill again!!! Yeah me!!

I did it

2009-01-22T21:09:00.002-05:00

I walked on the treadmill. I finally stopped making excuses for not walking. I gave myself a lecture today. I don't understand why I could be so stubborn when it come to some things, but couldn't be disciplined enough to just walk on a treadmill regularly. I figured I must not have wanted it bad enough. But I do, I need to loose weight. I am determined to loose weight. i kinda lost my will after I decided not to have another baby not matter how much weight I lost. But i need to loose the weight no matter what my future holds. I need to be healthy. Healthy body = Healthy mind.

This has been a rather tough week at work. My boss had a recurrence of her breast cancer last year after many, many years in remission. She had surgery and chemo and as been doing well. Worked through all of her treatments. Very upbeat and optimistic. This week she learned that it has spread to her brain and has started radiation. She also has a taken a leave of absence from work. She has 2 girls in their early 20's. She may never she her grandchildren or even see them get married. I have had a hard time taking this all in. It certainly brings home the need to cherish everyday for what it is, a blessing. I want to have many more days, so that has been my motivation for wanting to be healthy. I hope that i will be able to tel her what a motivation she had been for me after I have lost my weight and gotten back into shape. I guess I better get my ass in shape soon, so I CAN tell her.

Too long

2009-01-18T11:39:00.003-05:00

That's what it's been since I've last written. The holidays were a bit busy. Everyone enjoyed themselves. It was a little stressful for me, since money has been a little short this holiday, but it turned out nice anyway. Now time to play catch up with some of the bills.

Cinderella had an awareness project due after the first of the year. She choose to raise money for the SPCA. Since she waited until a week before the project was due, her options were limited. But in one week she was able to raise $116 and almost 100lbs of food to donate. i was very proud of her. She was very proud of herself too. Now to see what kind of grade she gets. The grading will all be on the written part of the project and not how much money was raised. So we will see.

As for exercising, it has been almost non-existent since I last wrote. It was busy through the holidays and the last time I walked a week ago or so, my foot that I broke a year ago really started to hurt again. Maybe next time I should wear my shies when I walk on the treadmill.

Mickey is getting excited about the Superbowl. He's hoping his team will make it this year. We'll find out today. Everyone will be here today to watch the game. Last weeks game was very exciting here. Afterwards we went to the airport to greet the team when the got home. There were a lot of other fans there too. The energy level there was amazing. So we wait for today's games to start. I think the waiting is the worst part.

Rough week

2008-12-20T21:04:00.002-05:00

That describes my week. Getting over the stomach flu has taken most of the week. I went back to work on Tuesday, but was utterly exhausted. I didn't eat any real food until Wed night. Slowly my appetite has come back. By Friday I was finally feeling like myself. This was the worst time to get sick with only a few days left until Christmas. There was still ALL the shopping for every one's gifts and the wrapping and the baking. So between Thurs, Fri and today. Everything is just about done. Only a few gift cards left to buy, some of the wrapping is done and all the baking is now officially done. I am exhausted again. So is Mickey, seeing how he is the one that did all the shopping these last couple days. Last night he didn't even come home until after midnight. I love him for getting all the shopping done for us. With out him, everyone would be getting gift cards.

Tinkerbell is making blankets for a couple of people. They are fringe no-sew blankets. They are very cute and she is so proud of herself. I know everyone will love them.

Not so lucky

2008-12-15T10:43:00.002-05:00

Well the stomach flu did not pass over the rest of us. I woke up Sat morning feeling bad. It only went downhill from there. I have not been sick like this in a very, very long time. (it has certainly cured me of wanting another baby). I spent the whole day sick in bed (or the bathroom) By the evening Mickey was starting to get sick too. We were both miserable and stuck in bed. Thank goodness for the princesses. They were a lifesaver. While we felt like the grandparents in Willy Wonka, they were able to bring us a drink if necessary. My Mom wanted to take them with her, but I told her we needed them. We were so sick, it was pathetic. I'm still trying to get over it. Today will be the first time I've had any real food. At least yesterday I was able to "fold" the laundry , slowly. Cinderella was a huge help and washed everything. There is no way I could have carried the baskets. Well I really still need to rest, and get a shower too!

An exhausting day

2008-12-11T20:13:00.003-05:00

My day started at 1am this morning. I had turned over in bed shortly before this to see Tinkerbell in my bed,now his often happens on occasion. I was awoken a very short time later by the sound of her vomiting in my bed, all over the top blanket. Mickey is much better with vomit then I am (no matter how long I have been a nurse, it never gets easier.) We all go up and headed into the bathroom. By this time it was all in her hair and on her pajamas. I got as much out of her hair as I could without throwing up my self. Mickey and I changed the sheets and got a new blanket. I decided to let Tinkerbell stay in my bed in case she got sick again, so we could help her. I got her a small bucket lined with a plastic bag and placed it next to Mickey on the floor. Instructed her to call for it if she felt sick again. By this time I was wide awake. They both fell back asleep easily. So I read my book for about an hour and then started to daze off. Just about this time, Tinkerbell tells me she doesn't feel good. I call to Mickey to get the bucket. As he leans over to reach for it, Tinkerbell proceeds to vomit all over him. I have never seen him move so fast before. He was up, clothes off and in the shower before we even got up to get in the bathroom. It has gotten all over the new sheets and blanket again. After cleaning everything up and changing the sheets with the last clean sheet I had, I placed Tinkerbell in her bed with the bucket next to her pillow and a bell to ring, if she needed us. She continued to throw up through out the night. Only she made it to the bathroom each time and her bed/room never got dirty.

By the time Cinderella was getting up for school, I was trying to go back to sleep for the umpteenth time. She was nice enough to show me, while Tinkerbell was throwing up again, how the dog had thrown up on the rug. I about lost it. I don't want to see another speck of stomach contents, ever. I told her to throw the whole thing out on the porch. After Cinderella left for school, Tinkerbell did sleep for about 2 hours. I was able to get some rest too. I called out of work today and fell back to sleep. I was awaken again by Tinkerbell, only this time, she has started with diarrhea ( in her pants) So into the shower she went, besides we really still needed to wash her hair. I told her not to make the water too hot, it might make her sick. What so you know, she was calling me because, she started to throw up again. Only this time onto the floor outside the shower. Thankfully that was the last severe episode of the day.

I spent the rest of the morning, cleaning the bathroom from top to bottom. I also had a lot of laundry to do. She has been better. Able to keep some Popsicles and crackers down with some ginger ale. Her stomach still bothers her, but still better then this morning. I also made her a scrambled egg. So far so good.

I am exhausted, I can't wait to get into bed. I'm glad my little girl is feeling better. Hopefully no one else gets it. I have never used so many Clorox wipes before in one day, in one room. Keeping my fingers crossed for a good nights sleep for everyone.

Wonderful meeting

2008-12-07T20:28:00.002-05:00

Last night we finally met up with my friend for dinner. This is the first time we have met in person. We had a fabulous time. It was as if we have been friends forever and it was just another night out together. The girls behaved so well. I am so proud of them. We were there for about 4 hrs and they never really fidgeted or asked when we were leaving. I told her the next time she visits it will have to be when it is warmer. It was just so cold outside, that after dinner we just took them back to their hotel. If the weather had been nicer, we may have walked around the town for a bit.

Cinderella has been working on her science fair project for school. Not as much as she should have, because it is due on Tues. We spent most of the day after church gathering data, and making graphs. Most has been printed out, but apparently she left the layout instructions at school, so she will have to do the editing and such tomorrow. I'm guessing no bowling for her tomorrow night. She'll have to finish printing and make the project board instead.

Mickey has been steadily busy adding lights to the outside of the house. When he woke up this morning it was snowing, so he went outside to take some pictures of the lights and house with the snow. I still have to upload them from the camera. I will eventually get some pictures up here.

Friends

2008-12-04T21:56:00.002-05:00

I have been trying to stay on my diet lately, but sometimes it's hard. I get tired of eating the same thing everyday. I'm torn though, because it is easy and I don't know what else would be this easy to follow. I also have been walking on my treadmill for 30 mins. It's kicking my butt. I'm not giving up though. I don't want to be overweight any more. The other promise i made to myself is that, if i can loose another 20-30 lbs by the spring, then I will consider having another baby. This is something that I want more then anything, and this is a step in helping to prepare for it.

Tomorrow I am so excited to meet my friend. We have never met in person before, we met on line in a support group forum for hyperemesis. That was about 4-5 yrs ago. She lives on the complete opposite side of the united states then I do. She is here with her husband who is on a business trip. I wish I had been able to get a day off of work to spend with her, but at least we are going to have dinner together. We have often joked that Cinderella and her youngest son will someday be married. Can you imagine if that actually happens.

Accountability

2008-12-02T20:56:00.005-05:00

That is a good thing. I'm lucky that I have a co-worker or 2 to encourage me on my diet. Everyday they ask me how I've been doing, and if i exercised. I had to be honest and tell them no for over a week. So now one of them is going to call me every night to see if i have or not. And being that she is old enough to be my Mom, I feel like I have too. Tonight i got a little nervous as she said she would call around 7pm. Dinner was a little later then usual tonight and them my Mom called to talk about Christmas stuff, so it was getting late as I did my dishes. I had to hurry to get on the treadmill be fore she called to check up on me. I had been on the treadmill for 5 mins when she called. It really felt good to keep my word.

Eggs and Venison

2008-12-01T21:06:00.002-05:00

While recanting my holiday with my co-workers today, I realized there was a couple of incidents i had forgotten about. I'm thinking it was a purposeful lapse in my thoughts. I know had mentioned Mickey putting up Christmas lights outside all weekend, well what I did forget to mention is that while he was out there Saturday night putting up some spiral Christmas trees in the yard, a car drove by and someone yelled something at him. When he turned around to see who it was, he was hit with an egg in the groin. I was inside and heard him yell some profanities, and looked out to see going down the street. When I called to him, he came back to the house, extremely mad. He spent the rest of the night staring down every car that drove past our house to enjoy all the lights he had put up. What was even more amusing (not that he found any of it amusing) was today when he got home from work, our neighbor had written on 6 eggs and put them all over the front yard. He had no idea who had did it. It wasn't until after dinner that Cinderella spoke with our neighbors son, who confessed. We still don't know who the initial culprit of the egg was, but no other harm has come to Mickey or our house/decorations.

The other incident that I have been trying forget about, happened yesterday. It was a cold rainy day, and upon walking up the stairs I looked out the window at the top, only to see my neighbor behind me. Apperantly he had been hunting over the weekend and was successful. He had a deer hangign from a tree that he was cleaning. Way to gross for some unexpecting eyes. I had to close all the blinds. While I realize that this is what hunters do and that's all fine and dandy, i was caught completely off gaurd when looking out into the yard. Luckily the children did not see any of it. That just gave me another reason not to open the blinds anymore. And I was sure once the summer was over and all their party's were over, that they wouldn't bother me until next summer. Boy was I wrong!!

Holiday break is over

2008-11-30T22:32:00.002-05:00

The long holiday weekend is coming to an end. It has been a very productive and relaxing time. The house is clean, the decorations are coming along, and the time spent with family was nice. Today has been especially nice. While the weather was cold and dreary, we had a good day. My sisters kids spent the afternoon with us, while they shopped for a new TV. The 8yo watched football with Mickey. The 6 yo played barbies with Tinkerbell. I was able to get the dishes and the laundry done. After they went home, we ate dinner (not so good pizza) and rearranged the family room to make room for the Christmas tree. Last year we put it in the corner, but since then we have installed a gas fireplace there, so we had to find a new spot. We ended up taking the corner piece out of the sofa and having the sofa go straight across and now the Christmas tree is in the other corner of the room. The girls put all the decorations on and it is lovely. It looks nothing like the one in the formal living room. This one is full of handmade ornaments by the kids and Disney decorations. I seems more warm and inviting to me.

While putting up the decorations, the kids asked about having another baby. They would like a little brother or sister. I tried to explain to them that it really is not a possibility. I unfortunately have something called hyperemesis gravidium (hg). I spent the first 4-5 months, sick (vomiting) non stop. It usually requires hospitalizations along with iv fluids. I would love to have more children. I just don't know how it would be possible. I need to work, I need to not die while pregnant. Having another baby could mean possibly risking everything. I know it sounds extreme, but I'm not exaggerating. My heart aches for another child. But who knows maybe someday it will all work out. A girl can dream right?

Christmas Trimmings

2008-11-29T17:48:00.004-05:00

I have taken a few pictures, they didn't turn out so well. I wish I had a new camera so I could take awesome pictures, but these will have to do.

Looking in from the front window by the porch.
Our gingerbread boy and girl

Our mantel, with our stockings already hung

The tree in the front window that is just for decoration.

Just a tree in the hall way upstairs

Mickey is still outside putting up more lights. This year he will eventually be hooking the light up to a dancing sound machine thingy. This was just a little preview. Besides I still need a lot more practice taking pictures.

Cleaning, cleaning, and more cleaning

2008-11-28T19:33:00.003-05:00

Now that Thanksgiving is over, the all out cleaning has started. My day started extra early today. I got up at 4am and bought my gifts on line. The best way to shop, if you ask me. Was able to avoid the cold and the crowds and there is also the guaranty that I will get what I wanted. After that Mickey was nice enough to go out and get Dunkin Doughnuts. Boy were they good. Haven't had any in a long time.

I have spent the whole entire day cleaning up the downstairs. Nothing was actually dirty, just stuff everywhere but where it belonged. Nobody seems to put the movies back in their case and back on the shelf. Toys seem to stay in the family room forever. And don't get me started on all the baby doll stuff Tinkerbell has set up all over the house. After all that was cleaned up, then it was on to the kitchen to tackle the un-ending pile of mail that seems to build up. I went through every single piece and after finding the shredder in the dungeon of a basement, shredded everything we didn't need anymore. Tinkerbell was in charge of actually putting the papers in the shredder. Of course I forgot how quickly that thing fills up, and of course it got so full that it got jammed. Boy was that a mess to clean up. But after picking all the little jammed up pieces out, I was able to get it working again.

I really think the worst part of cleaning today was trying to find a place to put all the stuff we just seem to keep acquiring. But I did. After everything was picked up, I dusted and vacuumed. Now the inside (at least the downstairs) is ready for decorations. Mickey is outside now putting up some lights on the house. I will try and get some pictures over the next couple of days of the house and post them. It will be almost Christmas before he gets all the lights up that he wants to get up but I'll post them as he goes along. I am exhausted now and am considering taking a nice long bath. Come to think of it, I don't think I've had a bath since Mickey put the TV in the bathroom above the tub. That was best idea I think we had during the renovations. A perfect way to end the day.

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T22:20:00.002-05:00

Today has been a good day. The turkey was moist, the trimmings tasty and the best part is, I didn't have to cook any of it. We spent the day at my MIL's with Mickey's family. It seems to be getting smaller every year. But it's still nice to see family you haven't seen in a while. Last night we made pies for today. Cinderella made the pumpkin pies, she ended up with 4 pies. There are still 2 in my refrigerator now. Tinkerbell made an apple pie. They all were delicious. I should be walking on my treadmill doubly long today, but I'm just not in the mood. There's always tomorrow. Speaking of tomorrow, it's Black Friday. After looking through all the ads tonight, I don't think there is really anything worth sending Mickey out to get. There is no way i could ever go shopping with that crowd. I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it, but I have a pretty bad anxiety and panic disorder, I would never survive. So like last year, I will look on line and order any good deals that I can find. Last year i found quite a few things. This year I know to start looking tonight!!

Mickey has already started to decorate for Christmas. In fact he started Mon night after the princesses got home. I refused to help until after Thanksgiving, I just think it was too early. So far we have a tree in our living room window, lighted garland up the stairs, decorated trees in each of the girls rooms, and little lighted topiary trees (3 throughout the house). Tomorrow will be a big day of decorating, First we will have to straighten up the house to make room for all the decorations. I can't wait. I love the Christmas holiday, with all the decorations and just the overall feeling of goodwill it brings out in others. The holidays can be especially hard for me at work, as I know that not all of our patients will make it through the holidays, or that this may well be their last holiday with family and friends. It's never gets easier, even though I've been doing this for 12 yrs now. I guess it just really makes you appreciate your health, family and friends even more.

Nothing

2008-11-24T15:53:00.002-05:00

That's what it feels like I've done all day today. But really, I have gotten stuff done. I got up and took a shower. I went to Tinkerbell's parent-teacher conference. Overall she is doing very well in school. The teacher thinks she is very bright, but gets bored. So she plays with stuff in her desk. The teacher told me she is going to try to find things to challenge her when this happens, so we'll see. After the conference, I came home and changed my shoes because I decided they really weren't that comfortable no matter how well they went with my outfit. Then I headed off to Cinderella's parent-teacher conferences. All of her teacher's seem to agree that she is very smart and is just not applying herself. So I will have o see what I can do to motivate her to do better. (would it be wrong to bribe her? I guess I could just call it rewarding her!) She also has some projects that are due and I'm not certain she has begun work on them at all. She is such a last minute girl like me. Of all my good and bad qualities, why oh why did she have to acquire that one. I know you're thinking, wow, you've dona a lot already. But wait there's more. I also had lunch, been to the grocery store and put the groceries away. Picked up the house and am now getting ready to "fold" the laundry and make dinner Cheeseburger Meatloaf. All of this today and it's only 4pm. Mickey will be home soon and so will my kids. I can't wait to hear about their trip and all the fun they had or didn't. You never know with kids. I'll just be glad when they are home.

Home alone

2008-11-23T15:44:00.002-05:00

The princess have left for an overnight trip with my parents, they will be home for dinner tomorrow. It's so quiet when they are gone, I really miss them. I thought that this would be the perfect day for Mickey and I to get some shopping done. Boy was I wrong. He has been home all afternoon watching football. Most Sundays it doesn't bother me, but today, we could have gotten so much done.

So instead, i went to visit my friend in the hospital. She just had her twin girls yesterday. They were the sweetest things. I could have stayed all day and held them. They already seem to have their own personalities. The littler one cried a lot and always had her eyes open, looking around. Like she didn't want to miss anything. The other one, slept almost the whole time. Very laid back and easy going. They were just perfect though. She also has an older son, who is 13 who was just enamoured with them. She is very lucky to have such a wonderful family.

I hope Mickey will get hungry soon so we can go out and get something to eat. The game has to be over soon, I just hope he doesn't have to watch the next one too.

Small Fryday requests

2008-11-22T22:47:00.004-05:00

There are a few other blogs I follow, and this one is simply amazing. It is MckMama, if you are not familiar with her story, please check it out. Her little MckMuffin is truly a sweet mircle and now she is trying to raise money for a wonderful organization, String of Pearls. Most people don't believe in or only think miracles happen during the holidays, but her family is living proof of a miracle. It is a testament to the power of prayer.

Crazy comments

2008-11-22T12:10:00.003-05:00

I go to work yesterday with my drastically new haircut. I hate drastic changes like this because it is very noticeable and everyone has something to say. While appreciate all the nice comments, there is one in particular that drives me crazy. I don't know how many people at my work, who see me 5 days a week. said to me "Did you get your hair cut?" Uh, Hello!!! Finally i just said, NO! I mean do you get it. Obviously I got my hair cut. Probably more then six inches. Why do people feel the need to ask, why not just say, "Wow, you got your hair cut" or even just "That looks nice" But that initial shock for everyone is over now, so hopefully next week will be better. I do need to work on how to style my hair my self now. It always looks great when the hairdresser does it. I am going out today to get some hair products to work with it a little.

I didn't walk on my treadmill yesterday. I will walk twice on it today to make up for it. Does that really count. I should probably just walk all day, since I keep eating the rice krispie treats that Tinkerbell made the other day. I just have such a weakness for the homemade ones. What is it about them?

I have been talking to Mickey about how I would like to get a a new camera to learn how to take more professional pictures. I love taking pictures and trying to get it from a different angle to show other perspectives. I just don't know where to start. I wouldn't even know how to use one of those cameras. So I will continue looking into it. But I should really be saving my money to go back to school. I just need 2 more years to finish my degree. Most of it can be done online. I just don't know if I could really be motivated without any really structure or time frame to finish. I work best under the pressure of a deadline (and not one's I set for myself)

Well I'm walking on my treadmill now as I type, not so easy. I usually like to hold on, so this isn't going to work. But it was a good idea. Maybe a goal to shoot for.

My new hair-do

2008-11-20T22:37:00.003-05:00

I had been wondering all day if I would really be getting my haircut today or not. My hair was getting long again. Well, my sister called and was really going to be doing it tonight. I was so excited, I didn't even really eat dinner when I got home. Mickey insisted i eat and handed me a bowl of pasta on my way out the door. It was really hard trying to drive down the street to her house while eating at the same time. I wasn't able to get the exact cut I wanted, because my hair if very thin and has no body. So I ended up getting my hair cut like Jenny McCarthy's. I like it, it's very cute. I also got some highlights too. I think Mickey likes it, he doesn't really care too much what my hair looks like. Now I just hope I am able to do it myself in the morning.

Mickey had been a little grumpy today. I'm not really sure why. He had to pick Cinderella up from drama club after he got off work today, and she wasn't ready because they were having a pizza party. When I called him, he was so annoyed he had to wait because he still had to go the grocery store and buy something to make for dinner and pick Tinkerbell up too. I told him to relax and asked if he just wanted me to bring something home but her said no. Sometimes, I think he just like to be grumpy. The kids have off school all of next week for the holiday, so hopefully that will make things a little less stressful for him. I swear he's going to give himself a stroke sometimes over nothing.

While getting my haircut, my sister was asking if I was interested in going on a Disney cruise next summer. Of course I said yes right away. I have been wanting to do this for a long time. Ever since the kids saw Titanic, they are not so much on board with the idea. But they will come around once we are on the ship. So I just told Mickey about it and he wasn't at happy about as me. He is still Disney'ed out. We went for 3 yrs in a row. but it will be 1 whole year since we went in 2 more weeks. I am ready to go back. It truly is the happiest place on earth for me. I can let all my fears and anxieties just disappear while I'm there. That and I love the weather, the hotter the better. So I will be starting my Cruise fund this weekend, with or with out Mickey.

I also was able to go 1.15 miles on the treadmill in 25 mins. I did a routine where every min you adjust the speed and incline. So it was like going up a hill then back down. It was pretty tough, but I really, really need to loose this weight, so I am committed to this.

Working out

2008-11-19T22:10:00.004-05:00

I still have quite a bit of weight to loose. So far I have lost about 20 lbs in the last 7 mo. I have done it all by diet change alone. Mostly doing the Special K challenge for an extended amount of time now. I don't do it everyday, but most days when I am at work. I have switched it up a bit lately, and have been doing Slim Fast for breakfast and Special K cereal for lunch. Dinner is whatever Mickey makes. Now that I have gotten the go ahead from the Cardiologist, I have started to walk on my treadmill again. I walked a mile tonight in about 30 mins. I know that is kinda a long time, but it's been many months since I've done any exercise. I plan to walk on it everyday. I also have the '10 min workout' dvd's. I have done them in the past. They are pretty intense for 10 min. I plan to add that to my workout schedule next week. If i could loose another 30 lbs, i would be content (I think). I'm hoping exercise will make all the difference for me.

Well, i have tentatively rescheduled my hair cut for tomorrow evening.Let's hope it really gets cut this time. I am so annoyed with my hair. today I had it twisted and held up with a pencil. I hope I like it after I get it cut. This will be the shortest it has ever been.

Tinkerbell has been continuing to read to me, I am really enjoying it. She seems to be getting into this book, and doing voices for the characters and such. I love to read, I'm not sure why my kids don't. Hopefully they will come around.

I'll have to figure out how to post pics so i can put some of my before and after haircuts up. Well after all that walking, I'm off to read and then go to bed.

Deconditioned

2008-11-18T21:29:00.004-05:00

That is what my Cardiologist says. Apparently that is a nice way of saying to get your butt up and exercise more. But all in all my test was good and my heart is fine. The test itself went OK, even though I forgot to wear my tennis shoes. I was rushing this morning and accidentally wore my crocs. But it turned out OK, I was able to just wear my socks while I walked. Much easier this time in that respect. But i think I may have pulled a muscle in my neck from trying to hold on as the treadmill went faster and the incline increased, and I had to use only one hand while they were getting a BP on the other arm. So Mickey has moved my treadmill up to our bedroom so I can use it while i watch TV. There was no TV in the spare room downstairs where it was. So let's see, in 3 mo I have lost almost 20 lbs by changing my diet and no exercise, what do you think adding exercise to the routine will do?

Not much other new going on today. Tinkerbell took her project into school, only to find out the teacher was out today and it won't be turned in until Fri when the teacher returns. But at least it is done. Tonight was Book Fair night at her school, so we went up and got a new book. It's call "The Tiara Princesses". We started it tonight and so far she has read me 2 chapters and it is pretty good. I have her read to me, otherwise she would never read the book on her own. Cinderella has bee reading the books from the Twilight series and is really enjoying them. She has finished the first book and is working on the second. The movie comes out on Friday and she really wants to go see it. I don't really know what the books are about so i have started to read the first book. I don't want to see the movie until I've finished the book and I'm only on page 18 out of 400. Her best friends don't like the book, so I'm not sure who she will go to the movies with yet, maybe her Dad.

Stressful day

2008-11-17T21:23:00.003-05:00

Well, there is no new haircut to discuss. I got a call that my hairdresser had to cancel for tonight. Hopefully I will still be able to get it done this week. We'll see.

Tomorrow I am going for a stress test at my Cardiologist office. Apparently he was a little concerned at my appt last week that I have been unable to exercise without getting short of breath and having some chest discomfort. The last one I had 3 yrs ago was a challenge in itself. I'm sure tomorrow will prove to be the same. Some of the challenges are the fact that I do not own a pair of regular tennis shoes. All of my shoes are slip on with no backs, so trying to run while holding your shoes on your feet tends to present some issues. The other part that is a bit uncomfortable is the paper vest they give you to wear over all those leads.. Might as well be naked. So I'll have that to talk about tomorrow.

The rest of my night consisted of helping Tinkerbell with her school project. She called me on my way home from work to tell me it was not a choice of doing it and it had to be done and turned in tomorrow. So after dinner, she had to read a book, create a project on poster board and write a summary about the book. She did get it all done with some help from Mickey and me. And in case you are wondering the crock pot chicken turned out okay. It was kinda like a pot pie with out the crust.

Sorry I don't have too much today, but I am tired and need to rest before my stress test at 8am.

Getting started

2008-11-16T17:18:00.003-05:00

My plans are to track my thoughts and activities daily. While I find my life to be boring mostly, there are some shining moments. By writing them all down, I'm hoping to create some great memories to share. My family consists of me, Minnie, my husband Mickey, my oldest daughter Cinderella, and my youngest daughter, TinkerBell. We also have many pets, we will call them Bruno, Lucifer, Pluto, Marie, and Duchess.

Today has been like any other ordinary Sunday, besides this new endeavor. I have been home alone cleaning and doing laundry. I also did a little grocery shopping too. I plan on making some chicken in the crock-pot tomorrow. I've never done this while not home before, so we will see how it goes. Because you see, around here Mickey does most of the cooking. He gets home from work an hour or more before me so he has humbly taken over this duty. While I enjoy having dinner ready when I get home, the mess he creates while cooking is overwhelming sometimes. While he cooks, he doesn't do dishes, so I get the clean-up after dinner is done.

I still have laundry to fold yet today. I have the 3rd load in the wash now, 3 more loads to go. When I say "fold" laundry, I really mean put on hangers. When we remodeled the house, we all got walk in closets. When I say all, I mean we each got our own, including Mickey and me. So you would think doing laundry would be easy, right? Well, it is much easier now. I would get so frustrated when I would spend so much time folding laundry and putting it away neatly in every one's drawers/shelves only to find it the next day a mixed up heap of clothes. So I really shouldn't complain now, but laundry is still laundry. Also when we remodeled, Mickey wanted to move the washer and dryer up to the top floor, I didn't want too. I told him I didn't have a problem carrying the clothes to the basement, and besides I didn't want to have to listen to them while they were running at night either. But I have to admit, it would have been nice (don't tell Mickey I said that). But not for the reason you are thinking, but because of Lucifer, Duchess, and Marie. They live in the basement most of the time and their litter box is in the laundry room. If anyone knows of a great litter box that doesn't smell and works wonderfully, please let me know.

Well back to cleaning. I hope to post more tomorrow. And hopefully I will have a new haircut to discuss.